SAYS HER:
Can't? Slow Down
Speed Her Up!
What happens when a 60-minute woman takes the new male impotence drug Viagra? Maxim's
Olivia Wolf pops the little blue pill and gets quickie with it.
It's always taken me a long time to climax. I can remember my boyfriend when I was 16 slamming his fist into the wall in frustration at not being able to make me blow my short stack. But as I got older being a "tough nut to crack," as one long-term lover called me, was never really a problem. We'd get me off "by hand" and then have intercourse for as long or as little as we wanted. Everyone usually went home (or moved in) happy. My apologies for making a lover work so hard were usually answered with sweet and convincing protestations such as "If that were work, darling, I'd be a millionaire."
My current worker bee has also tried to convince me that my pleasure is his pleasure, but there's something in Alex's tone as he lies next to me, touching me and sexily talking me over the top, that borders on pleading. I hear him whisper, "Yes, baby, yes, it's OK, it's OK," but I also hear Please, baby, come already! My torn rotator cuff is screaming!
Viva Viagra
!Then along comes the Food and Drug Administration's approval of the male impotence drug, Viagra. And in the midst of all the sudden publicity, moneymaking, and lovemaking, a few doctors start wondering what effect the groovy blue pill would have on women.
Viagra can't create arousal where there is none, but it helps the erectionally challenged man get wood by allowing more blood to enter and pool in the penis when he is stimulated. Doctors began postulating that Viagra would also bring more blood to the genital area of women, although they weren't exactly sure how that would influence female sexual function.From what I could remember of female physiology, blood flow to the vagina and clitoris was a "good thing," to quote Martha Stewart. And more blood flow had to be even better. I started to get excited just thinking about the possibilities.
Studies on men had shown contra-indications only for those taking organic nitrates, such as nitroglycerine, for heart conditions. I was in the clear there. My problem was that the FDA had approved Viagra only for men. Many doctors are unwilling to prescribe the drug for women "off label," which isn't illegal but still leaves them open to lawsuits should something go wrong.
Despite this obstacle it took me exactly six hours to cop some Viagra. I mean, it had already been prescribed to hundreds of thousands of men in the U.S. Finding someone to give me a couple of pills was not difficult.
My Bed, My Lab
I called Alex as soon as I got them, which was on a Friday afternoon.
"I scored!" I said, like a teenager who'd just bought her first bag of weed, though it's been 20 years since that blessed event.
We agreed to meet the following evening, and then I ran around showing the 50-milligram, diamond-shaped pills to everyone in the office. I felt very special, and a bit wicked.
As is typical, Alex and I had to squeeze our "research" in between a theater matinee I was seeing and his having dinner with his dad. That gave us three hours of Saturday sex, not a bad window.
He came over at five and, planning for sex at seven, I "dropped" at around six... it takes about an hour for Viagra to kick in. We tried to act nonchalant, watch TV; listen to music, but there was a hit of tension. Alex, understandably curious since I was taking
some "sex" drug and he wasn't, kept asking, "Do you feel anything yet?" I didn't, except that about a half-hour into my non-trip, my head felt pressurized for a minute, the way it does when I eat Chinese food packed with MSG. I also noticed another side effect: Everything looked as if I were staring through a very subtle hlue lens. The golden afternoon light looked a little cold.As someone who has dabbled in her share of mind- and body-altering suhstances, I was kind of waiting for a buzz to hit me, hut I didn't feel much of anything. I just waited the prescribed honi; then, seconds before seven o'clock, looked at Alex and said, "Let's do it!" like some sort of Team Viagra coach. We adjourned to the bedroom.
Venus de Viagra
We were rolling around
under the covers, enjoying ourselves as we usually do, when Alex asked, "How do 'you
feel?" I replied, "Normal...I mean, good...I mean, like I usually do when we're
doing this.. which is ...good..." It was awkward, because I didn't want him to think
I wasn't turned on, hecanse I was. But no more or less than I have been for the last two
years we've been having sex (except, of course, for those torrid early months). I didn't
feel one bit different until... he touched me down there.
Now, fellas, this is going to start getting technical. If you can't handle a detailed discussion of the female anatomy, hand this story over to your girlfriend or wife and let her take it from here.
My clitoris wasn't any more sensitive than it usually is. The main difference became evident when Alex slipped his finger inside me. My vagina was more sensitive, not in a tingly, superficial way, but in a warm and deep way--much the way you might expect that area to feel when a greater amount of blood than usual is pumping through it. Alex even noticed that
when he went down on me, I was juicier than normal and responded more to him kissing my, uh, nether lips.
And when I climbed aboard and took him inside me, I must admit, it was one of the rides of my life. "This feels amazing," I gasped when I could. Screwing always feels great for me, but I've never been able to have a look-ma-no-hands orgasm that way: I or my guy has to be tickling my Elmo. It's just the way about a third of the female population is built. But this time I could feel that the thrusting alone might do the trick. Alex said I didn't feel any different to him inside, but unfortunately, I think my excitement was contagious, hecause he came in a few minutes.
So now Alex was on his side next to me and touching me, both inside and out, if you get my drift. I have to say that the stimulation inside contributed much more than normal to my reaching heaven on earth. And the journey was more pleasurable--and shorter. I came in about a third less time than I usually take on a good day And rating the orgasm on a scale of one to 10, it was, I'd say, an eight, which I'll take anytime.
Brave New Banging
Was this scientific? Nope. Could my greater sensitivity have been the power of suggestion? Yup. But as soon as Viagra is approved ior women, I'm going to get me a scrip. I wouldn't mind joining the somewhat enviable ranks of those women who can get their rockettes off through intercourse alone. And why on earth wouldn't I want to make making the earth move an easier feat for both me and my love slave? Yes, I know I'm being goal oriented and the journey's the thing and all that crap. But when my man and I have only a half-hour or so to jam in a quickie, it'd be nice to have these little blue devils on hand to, well, give me a hand.
I imagine a bright new future in which my guy calls to me, "Honey, come quick!" and I can.